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Spending a decade as a relationship counsellor, I quickly discovered a common thread woven into
the fabric of the marriage garment of those that sat opposite me unravelling their situation. Often the overcoat of pride hid many faded dreams and somewhere passion had been lost in an ever deepening pocket. For a good number of men it was the bedroom that had lost its sparkle. For the high percentage of the women it was sometimes a list longer and more intricate than a winter scarf! Men - take note, follow these principles and you might just find the girl you first met.

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I was having a conversation the other day with my daughter; who made the statement to me that I should let my blood pressure go up. Speaking in ignorance not knowing what high blood pressure will do, I shared a few facts with her about high blood pressure; which included being on medication, the possibility of having a stroke, or a heart-attack. Once she discovered the results of what high blood pressure can do, she changed her mind and said don’t let it get that high. Over the years my daughter has not really ever seen me get so upset. She really thinks I’m Mr. Cool. I attempt to keep my cool when I’m being provoked; I can get very angry, but I manage to stay in control though tempted at moments. The bible says’ “be angry, and do not sin. Psalms 4:4.” It’s repeated in the New Testament “Ephesians 4:26 be angry, and do not sin.” You want to be able to control your anger, rather than having your anger control you.

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Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7 NIV)

What does the above scripture mean? This scripture does not mean “weaker” partner in the sense of moral or intellectual ability, but in physical ability. What is Peter trying to teach to husbands? I think Peter is telling husbands to honor and respect their wives by protecting them against outside influences and criminal abuses. If a husband is a man of God he will protect his wife from harm.

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Have you ever given your partner the benefit of the doubt? If you’re in a committed relationship, you probably have without even realizing it. Giving someone you love the benefit of the doubt runs on a continuum. On one end, it might mean that you completely ignore something they did that annoyed you. On the other, with bigger “offenses,” it means that you’ll approach their behavior with calmness and a healthy dash of understanding.

Picture this: After one too many spiked egg-nogs at the office holiday party, your partner serenades your boss with a wobbly “I Just Called to Say I Love You” while you hide behind a coat rack.

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Pitfall #1: You don’t learn from the mistakes you made in your first marriage.

Some important but unsettling news for those of you thinking about remarrying: More second marriages end in divorce than first marriages. And the statistics are even worse for third marriages. Intuitively, you might think the opposite would be true. After all, you’re definitely older the second time around, so you’ve got to be wiser, too. Right?

Many people who enter a second marriage don’t realize the specific challenges that come with remarrying. Awareness of these challenges should start with an understanding of the reasons why your first marriage ended.

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I have married five times and on the verge of my fifth divorce. When I look back on my life I really tend to think, does marriage hold any significance in my life? Probably not. For me now asking for divorce comes too easy. Guess practice makes man perfect. The maximum duration I can stay with a single woman is around a year. Beyond that, life starts to looks sulky and I think I need something new. May be a new challenge in the form of a new lady. And it’s not me alone, I find this in my females as well. After a span of nearly one year or so, I find my partner starting to loose interest in me, just like I loose interest in her. She starts using the internet a lot and going out much more often, may be to find out that special someone who can care for her and help her out of this stagnant relationship. So why does this happen? Why has being married for all your life become so difficult?

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